Boosting Confidence (Part II)

Part II focuses on things you can practice and learn in order to appear more confident when on the pull, the conversation part is especially important and effective when coupled with body language and eye contact!

Conversation/Speech

First of all never answer a question with one word, and always follow up an answer with another question. As soon as she starts giving one word answers then either try or change the topic or move on to somebody else, the secret to conversation is to keep it flowing, varied and interesting!

Talk like a normal person, don’t use clichés but you can prepare stories if they’re easy to relate to and interesting to the individuals you’re with – judge your company and alter your manner accordingly.

If you can build a more personal relationship in this then even better, listen to what you’re being told and remember it. Especially remember people’s names and where they come from, and if they talk about something for a long time continue discussing it with them, lie and say that you share their interest if you’re confident enough!!

If you’re feeling very nervous use humour, it should make you and her feel at ease and the best way to build the relationship that I’ve focussed on so far is with this humour!

What to talk about? If you’re in a club talk about the club because you can be confident she’ll have some knowledge, know your surroundings and use them to your advantage. If it’s in a city you can then talk about the city, where they went to school and try to find a common ground. Once you have this “common ground” stick with it for a while and build a bond so that she remembers you as the person who was interested in her.

Try to speak clearly and to the point, don’t finish every sentence with “like” or “you know what I mean” because this instantly shows girls how nervous you are! Also speak slowly and don’t mumble, there’s nothing more awkward than a girl having to ask you to repeat yourself!

Complimenting the girl you’re talking to can be difficult but can also be extremely successful, as I’ve said before focus on something small that she wouldn’t normally be complimented on! Be Unique!!

Keep the balance of speech between you and her fairly equal, if at all possible let her talk more than you but this is sometimes impossible to achieve!

Specifics for nights out!

Strength in Numbers can be used very successfully, if you’re out with people you like and can relate to then you’ll seem more at home. Don’t be afraid to wing-man for your friends and learn from what they do and from their mistakes, it also gives you an opportunity to watch how girls react in a thoroughly unbiased manner!

Dressing in clothes your comfortable is just as important as dressing in clothes that make you look good, if you can find a pair of “pulling pants” then wear them, it might just give you that edge! Believe it or not I have a shirt that I’ve never failed to pull in, if you’re feeling nervous or like you won’t pull, put your item of clothing on and it WILL work wonders!             

Dancing is another good way to boost your confidence, make a fool of yourself or dance really well, you can’t lose if you can handle yourself in the correct way relative to how you dance.

Don’t think about failure, I’ve spoken about this in a separate post but the essence is that, realistically, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s inevitable that one day someone’s going to say “No”, so you may as well make that day today!